***

2154

Tegl grasped Archer's arms tightly, but it as if he was bracing himself. Archer was overcome for a minute, but came back to his senses. He'd never felt so alone.

Archer: I'm right, aren't I?

Tegl: Why did it take you so long?

Archer: I didn't know what it was exactly. After I saw it in my own eyes, I saw it in yours. I'm right?

Tegl: You are. Is that enough for trust?

Archer's arms were warmed from Tegl's grip, and Tegl had come closer, almost as close as in his quarters. Archer blinked, and Tegl was closer still.

Tegl: Captain, do you know what you're giving up?

Archer: I,... let me go, please.

Tegl released his grasp but Archer went nowhere. He swayed. Tegl's breath was on his face, on his mouth. Tegl moved in as if to kiss him and Archer stood his ground, wanting nothing else right then and there. Again, the feeling of fear rushed through him and a strong desire with it, to know the energy in this man.
Tegl: That's what you're giving up. Certainty. Complex happiness. Completeness.

Archer's breath wouldn't serve him, coming only in shallow vibrations, a pale echo of Tegl's cry before. It was loneliness again and a confounding attraction.

Tegl: Give it up or take it in your hands?

Archer pressed his lips against the Tabran's. It was painful. It took away all his reserve and his protections. He hated it but he wasn't thinking clearly.

Tegl: So you see? This is what I've learned about humans in my research. Go and think, Captain. It's the best thing you can do.

***

2154

Reed: Captain, this could be our best chance. It's been weeks since we found anything of use. The shore leave was a welcome change, but that planet had almost nothing we could use.

Archer: What does this one offer? Besides ore?

T'Pol: An extensive biosphere but no humanoid life. There is likely enough food to restock the galley for a long period of travel.

Trip: Sounds perfect.

Reed: If we take scans of the surface when we're closer, we can rule out any dangers before we beam down.

Archer: Keep me posted.

...

Trip: Malcolm, you got a sec?

***

2154

(...)

Archer: I won't let anything happen to you.
Trip: What kind of promise is that? How do we have a life if nothing happens to me?

Archer: Tegl -

Trip: Nothing.

Archer: Titan.

Trip: Accident.

Archer: Florida?

Trip: That's the mission.

Archer: Can you be sure...

Trip: Go back to the diner. Let's go all the way back there. Better yet, go back to the pond. Do you remember what I asked?
Archer: Yes.

Trip: And what you said.

Archer:...

Trip:You said yes. I promised you and you said yes.

Archer: This is a different time.

Trip: We're still back at the pond. I'm still yours. Every minute of every day. Every breath.

Archer: That was at the apartment, way before the pond.

Trip was almost in tears, all the old joy coming back in waves.

Trip: You remember all that! And you want our decision to take that away?

Archer looked at him. The old conversation was echoing through his mind, but Trip's tears caught him. It wasn't easy to make Trip cry, but he could do it. He wiped one tear away, brushing his thumb across Trip's cheek.

Reed: Reed to Captain Archer. The planetary scans are complete. Shall I tell everyone to come to the Command Center?

Archer couldn't take his eyes off Trip.

...

Archer: You okay?

Trip nodded.

Archer: Yes, Lieutenant, in half an hour.

Reed: We could begin<-/p>

Archer: Half an hour, Lieutenant.

Trip: Back to work.

Archer: We need these supplies.

Trip: Yes, sir.

...

Archer: Back to the pond? And then what?

Trip: And then see what happens.
Archer: If we...

Trip: Don't start weighing everything or putting us in the balance. Just try living and let things happen.

***

2142

Archer: The engine won't be a problem. It'll work. When it does, you'll see a lot more support for the NX program.
Duval: That's your opinion.

At the edge of the group was a cadet, the same one who'd been near Archer all evening. Archer had been pretending not to see him, but he was too charismatic to ignore. He had some sort of accent Archer couldn't pin down, but it was soft as suede and sweet. Now he was less than six feet away, staring angrily at Duval, which gave Archer the chance to watch him.

Trip: That's ridiculous!
Duval: You'd do well to remember your rank.
Trip: But the ship's sound! The engine specs are a bit off but it'll work.

Duval: And you have some expertise in this area?

The cadet wasn't the least bit flustered, but he certainly didn't know when to shut up. Archer was amused, and taken. He left the group to their quarrel, not wanting to fight the same battle again tonight. He looked back and the cadet was saying something to Duval with a half-sneer, but looking directly at Archer.

***

2154

Reed: We have scans of nearly all the cave areas, but they show no life forms, no geological dangers, and no unusual energy readings.

Trip: These caves aren't natural formations. Where are the people who made them?

Archer: Killed off? Moved on?

Reed: There are no remnants of inhabitants.

T'Pol: The ship's stores could be replenished with a few shuttle flights. The doctor hasn't detected any hazards to humans or Vulcans.

Archer: What about Tabrans?

T'Pol: I didn't ask about Tabrans.

(...)

Phlox: Phlox here, Captain.

Archer: Did your bioscans of the planet show any potential hazards for Tabrans?

Phlox: None that I could detect, based on what data I have on Tabrans, but that's fairly...

Archer: Thank you, Doctor.

Trip: You thinkin' of bringin' Tegl along?

Archer: I am.

***

2154

A concerto played, a lively one, sinking into the back of his thoughts, regular, intricate, mathematical, and beautiful. It helped him think, and that helped him to relax.

(( Trip?

Over here, Aunt Vicky.

What on earth are you doin', dear?

Just lookin' at the stars.

Not countin' 'em again, I hope?

Nah.

Cause that's a long road to nowhere.

(...)

Why did you and Uncle Ed split up?

What? Well, that's between him and me, Trip.

Tell me. Please?

(...)

He found a calling that would take him places. Lots of places, far away. I never did understand that need - to go places. I have what I want right here. What's out there, in those "places"? More of what I've got here already.

Didn't you want to be with him?

Course I did. But wanting and needing are two different things. I wanted to be with him, but I needed to be here more. He had a need to go places.

                  I know why he wanted to get out there.

Well, I'm sure you'll tell me.

                  Because there's more out there. More to know, more to see. Just -- more.

Ohh. You too. I could wish you were a homebody like me, but there's no cure for your kind of restlessness but to go. It'll take a special kind of person to spend a life with you. Warn her before she falls in love. Else you'll break her heart...and yours.

                  How 'bout I just find someone who wants to go out there as much as I do?

Then you'd be very lucky. If you believe in luck, which I don't. But if you are lucky, like that, then grab hold and promise all your days to each other. ... We never did that.

                  What happened?

We decided that it wasn't worth the pain of making that promise. He wouldn't have been the same man if he had stayed because he thought he should. But don't make that promise if you can't keep it.

When I fall in love, it'll be for good. ))

Trip's head rested on his hands, his mind trying to get far away from the binding tightness of the last few months, back to the easiness of being sixteen. It would be nice to escape the daily up and down of serving with a man he couldn't say he loved, couldn't show he loved, and couldn't leave. The mission had been so exciting at first, so deadly serious recently, that he almost - almost - hadn't felt the nagging doubt, but it was there now. He'd made a promise, one he hadn't kept because he thought keeping it would mean losing everything.

***

Private File Entry

I misjudged Archer. He is not unreachable. I never expected such perception from him and I should have seen it there. I failed to, because I was looking at his fear. He never has forgotten where his duty lies. That may save them both.

This fifth report is too precious for me to slip up even in the least. They'll be watching.

I hope, Kous, that you'll send me forgiveness for what I've done. It is your legacy. For you and for Alkkav.