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DECEIT: Part Two
***
2154
Notes for First Report:
Initial crew reactions to my presence have been mixed. My training in human custom has been largely successful and I have had to make only a few further adjustments to fit in. Humans are surprisingly quiet and unable to express themselves, and the military structures have produced the reticence and similarity of attitude that we’ve seen in many cultures before. Commander Tucker has shown a slight distrust of my motives, and seems to be most concerned that I don’t interfere with his Engineering section too much. I will begin my interviews and regular stationing there in the next cycle. Captain Archer seems quite open to alien contacts and is very welcoming.
***
2155
{{Your final reports have been returned to us today. They confirm your violation of protocols.
> (It shouldn’t have happened like that. The last report was not supposed to be removed. If he doesn’t see it,... I have lost my reputation at home and with him.)
***
2154
Tegl: Commander Tucker, our interview is scheduled...
Trip: They need me in Engineering. I’ll get back to you. This afternoon.
***
Private File Entry
My interest in Commander Tucker is one of the more difficult things to suppress. He's so much like us. He's devoted to his captain and can partially conceal it. The Captain expends a great deal of energy hiding his own emotions, especially when Commander Tucker is near him. Our first dinner together at the Captain's table could have gone better, but I wasn't as tactful as humans require. My attention to Commander Tucker raised suspicions in both of them. I'll have to include this subject in my interviews.
***
2154
Tegl: Commander Tucker...
Trip: (engrossed in his repairs) Yes?
Tegl: ...might we discuss your past in our next interview?
Trip: M’ past?
Tegl: Your relationships. Before this mission.
Trip: That can’t be very helpful to you...
Tegl: I’m an anthropologist, and several of your human customs are unique. My mission is to find out about them.
Trip: Human customs? Well, I’ll try to help you out. Can we meet in the Mess Hall?
Tegl: If I’m correctly evaluating your species, these questions will be uncomfortable to discuss in public.
Trip: (looks distinctly uncomfortable) What’re you gonna ask about?
Tegl: I hope you’ll answer the questions. Starfleet has agreed to full cooperation with the Tabran Exchange.
Trip: Has the Cap’n seen these...questions?
Tegl: He has seen them.
Trip: Well, why don’t you come to my quarters? B deck, port side, section 3.
***
2155
}} Was it physically intimate?
> Yes.
}} Was it emotionally intimate?
> Yes.
}} Did it violate the Exchange Agency standards for involvement with research subjects?
> You know it didn’t.
}} The time frame is unlikely. Your own report states that bonding is not immediate.
> Humans take longer to become attached, but some are able to experience bonding as we do in not much longer time periods.
}} You shared information about yourself and about our world.
> That was necessary. I needed a certain level of trust.
}} Your decision was improper. Your termination is only one consequence of that action.
(But they’ll be together. I’m sure of it.)
> May we stop for now? I’ve been answering your questions for nearly 34 hours
}} We will continue. You are not yet exhausted.
***
2154
Notes for First Report:
Commander Tucker is fiercely proud of his engines, and his staff. He is also doing an excellent job at redirecting his attraction to the captain of this ship into his daily activities. The closeness of their relationship is obvious, even to the untrained eye. It ceased to be an active romantic relationship only a few years ago, and was a mutual decision, judging from their ease of interaction now. Unfortunately, the captain seems even less aware than the commander that they are still quite deeply attached.
Private File Entry:
My effort to repress my natural behavior in order to fit in is helping with the crew. But it's beginning to interfere with my desire to know Commander Tucker better, so I've decided to take a chance. A very real chance, which could jeopardize my mission. I need to know. My interview with Commander Tucker is this afternoon, and I don’t believe that I will be able to maintain the outward appearance that is so important for him to continue to feel comfortable around me. If I touch him, it may not go well.
(...)
And if I fail to collect information, I may not have a job when I get home.
***
(Trip’s quarters)
Tegl: Is this typical crew quarters?
Trip: Well, it’s a bit messier than the typical quarters. (shy grin)
(...)
Tegl: I would like to propose something.
Trip: That we forget about the personal questions?
Tegl: No! (laughing). Where do your people get this remarkable restraint?
Trip: It’s called politeness. I got it from my parents. “Never ask personal questions.”
Tegl: It is unlike anything people do on our world. I have learned it and practiced it and still it is a great effort to not say what I feel.
Trip: Oh I say what I feel. It just doesn’t usually come out so good. I yelled at the Vulcan Ambassador to Earth once. Caught hell for that. (...) T’Pol doesn’t seem to like you.
Tegl: T’Pol has only met two other Tabrans, and they were not restraining themselves at all.
Trip: She never told me that.
Tegl: We collect information, Commander. It’s my job to know about the people I work with.
Trip: Uh-huh. And what do you do with your ‘information’?
Tegl: We report it. We collect the reports. We study other cultures. And you don’t believe me, so let’s change the subject.
Trip: How’d you know that?
Tegl: Eye movements, breathing rate, scent. They give away a lot of information.
Trip: What else am I giving away? That I’m curious about your job on this ship? That I’m not comfortable with personal questions?
Tegl: That you are still very attached to Captain Archer.
Trip’s head wavered nervously to the side and back to Tegl’s eyes, all in a split second.
Trip: That’s not polite.
(...)
Trip: You know, you look a lot like my roommate at the academy.
Tegl: Your roommate was Tabran?
Trip: (laughs) No, he <voice fades>... I would have remembered that.
***
2154
T’Pol: Commander, the Captain has asked me to begin ... Commander?
(( I was lookin’ at him, tellin’ him about the way we ended things. His hands came up so fast, I couldn’t block them, and he grabbed my head. I didn’t know what he was doin’ – it wasn’t like any move I ever had put on me. He didn’t say anything, he just stared at me. And I knew what it was, what he was thinking, like something in the air. All I could say was, “What are you doin’?” And he said nothin’, not a word. Warm hands, a lot warmer than humans. I can still see those eyes. He knew exactly how Jon ended it. How did he know that? It felt like it was an hour later when he let go. My legs just about gave out. ))
T’Pol: Commander. Is there a problem?
Trip: Huh? Uh, Subcommander. Evenin’.
***
2150
I love your chest. NO! Stop grabbin’ at me. This is my turn, Jon. I love your chest because you held me up against it the first time I tried to kiss you.
***
2154
Archer: What business is that of yours?
Tegl: Captain, any information that is not specifically excluded by Starfleet is part of my research.
Archer: That has no place in your reports. Personal actions in the past are not the behavior you were sent to study. Private information that is not shared with you is NOT part of your research.
Tegl: Commander Tucker has the same feelings for you.
Archer: Get out. This discussion is over.
***
2155
}} Your reports failed to mention the dangerous actions you took.
> I reported the information that was asked for.
}} You deliberately omitted data that was relevant.
> It was personal data. Private.
}} There is no private information. It could have been used much earlier.
> It was not for you to use.
}}You lied to avoid removal.
> I did what I had to do. They <cuts himself off>.
}} What did you have to do?
***
2150
C’mere Trip. Enough of that. You know I get all choked up when you babble on like that.
You old softie!
Archer pressed Trip against his chest, tightly. He could feel Trip’s warm breath and his heart beating.
(How did I not see this coming?)
Jon?
Archer let him go from the hug, and grabbed his head with both hands, and stared into him without a word.
Piece by piece it started to fall away, deep in the pit of his stomach, and up through his chest. It was all breaking apart now, leaving him weaker than he had ever felt. And Jon didn’t say a word, he just held his head and looked at him.
***
2154
It all came back when Tegl's hands touched him. The loss of what he’d wanted since the first meeting at the Academy; what he’d gotten, against the odds. A man who knew how much space travel meant to him, who appreciated his talents with a warp engine, and who could make his dream come true – alien worlds, new sights. A man who loved him, enough to take the risk of loving him in front of everyone, but not enough to keep that love going when he took the Captain’s chair. And Tegl’s questions... (( Did he ever ask them, finally? No. I guess not. Well, maybe. I did tell him a lot. ))
***
2154
Trip: “You want...me?”
Tegl pressed his broad nose up against Trip’s and inhaled deeply, then exhaled.
Trip: “m....me?” Trip said as Tegl released him. His legs buckled and he slumped back against his desk. He shook his head violently but the fog wouldn’t clear.