***

2154

Trip: Travis, you got a minute?

Mayweather: Sure, Commander.

Trip: I need to make some adjustments to the new shielding. Do you think you could find us a meteor cloud and make some trial runs?

T'Pol: There's a system not far from here. There is most likely debris of the correct size in the ring circling the fourth planet.

Trip patiently thanked her and leaned toward Travis just before he left the bridge.

Trip: There's somethin' else I want to talk to you about. Come down to Engineering when you get a chance.

Travis: In about an hour. Is that all right?

Trip: That's perfect, Ensign.

Travis looked at Hoshi but she was busy translating broadcasts and hadn't heard Trip's request.

Travis spent the next hour worrying.

***

***

2154

Travis: Commander?

Trip: In here.

Travis: Wow - you're never in here. Must be serious.

Trip: Relax, Travis, there's nothing wrong.

Travis stood, politely waiting for Trip to get to the point.

...

Trip: You're right. This isn't the place. You wanna get somethin' to eat? No, the mess hall's full this time of day...

Travis: Commander?

Trip: I need to talk to someone.

Travis: Why me?

Trip: Well, I...

Travis: Sorry, sir. I just don't know if I'll be much help.

Trip: Come with me.

(...)

Travis: Are we headed somewhere?
Trip: No. We're just walkin'.

Travis: Commander, did something happen?

Trip: No, I'm fine.

Trip's shoulders sagged.

Travis: You remember when you gave me that collection of pictures for my folks? I never told you how much it meant to them. Or to me. I didn't think anyone paid much attention to me.

Trip: We do.

He stared at Travis' face for a long time. Travis waited.

***

2151

The ride up in the shuttlepod had been remarkably stress free. None of the tension either had expected. Archer was simply happy to be around Trip again. Trip was showing off the ship, like a proud father, and Archer drank it all in, every word. Archer's comment about "everyone who matters to me is up here" was the only moment that ruffled Trip. He turned it into a comment on Jon's responsibilities to many people back at Starfleet rather than letting himself enjoy it outright. But he did enjoy it. And they were going to be together, every minute. <thonk>

Trip: "Sorry."

Archer: "Great. You scratched the paint."

Trip wavered just for a second before he realized Archer's face didn't show the least concern.

***

2154

(...)

Trip: I'm in love, have been for years, and... now it's all getting muddy. I want to go back to what we had, and... um, it's not you, Travis. Didn't mean to say it that way.

Travis: Oh, I know it's not me; I just can't figure out who it is.
His eyes flashed back and forth as he ran through the short list of possibilities.

...

Travis: Are you gonna tell me or do I have to guess?

Trip swallowed hard.

Trip: I've known him for a long time.

Travis: The captain! I knew it!

Trip's face collapsed in embarrassed misery.

Trip: You knew? Does everyone know?

Travis: No. I mean, I don't think so. It was just the way you said that, and you got that look you get when you're heading off on an away mission together.

Trip stared. (( My face is a signpost. Great. ))

(...)

***

2154

Trip: That was quite a little stunt.

Tegl: I didn't miss the last shuttle. No one was inconvenienced.

Trip: You were out of contact.

Tegl: As your Captain reminded me.

Trip: What were you doin'?

Tegl: Relaxing. Running relaxes me. Conversations with you, though, don't seem to have that effect.

Trip: The feelin's mutual. ... Naked?

Tegl: Clothes are restrictive.

Trip: Is everyone on Tabra naked?

Tegl: (laughing) No, of course not. We dress.

Trip: So you're all just very relaxed.

Tegl: Commander, it would do you good to run naked across a planet.

Trip: You were going eighty kilometers an hour.

Tegl: That's really not so important.

Trip: No one runs that fast.
Tegl raised his eyebrows. He leaned in, but Trip leaned back.

Tegl: Do I scare even you? I thought you were stronger. Your Captain wasn't scared, even when I picked him up.

Trip: What did you do to him?

Tegl: Concern. Good. I did nothing to him. He got a little bruised. He's fine now.

***

2154

Trip: You don't mind?

Travis: Why should I mind?

Trip sighed, but didn't seem any happier.

Travis: Why aren't you together now? Couples can serve in Starfleet. It's not as relaxed as a freighter, but it's not impossible.

Trip: The Captain wanted to...

Travis: You know, Commander, you should be talking to him, not me.

Trip: I will.

(...)

Travis: So why tell me?

Trip: Because it's fillin' up my head.

Travis: The doctor might be able to help you - he's got three wives... and two husbands. Or sub-commander T'Pol - she could sure give you the unemotional viewpoint.

Trip: I don't know why I picked you, Travis. I didn't stop to think about it. I just needed someone to talk to. To listen.

Travis: I can do that.

Trip was silent.

Travis: When did it end? Who ended it?

Trip: It didn't exactly end, that's the problem.

Travis: You didn't tell me who ended it.

Trip: We both did. I mean, he had the reasons, but I agreed with him.

Travis: You agreed to what?

Trip: To make the mission work, to serve together. Just not be too close.

Travis: That's...not something I'd want. Why did you agree?

Trip: It meant..., it means a lot to him. To be successful, to have his career, and this ship, to be out here exploring new worlds. He always wanted me with him, but as the launch got closer, he started weighing things.

Travis sat quietly, watching as Trip's face got tighter and more sorrowful.

Trip: Weighing us against the mission, the ship, the possibilities. We agreed it would be risky to try anything serious together on such an important mission.

Travis: You can't go back to what you had, you know. After three years...

Trip: Four.

Travis: You're both changed people.

Trip: What I want is the same. The Cap'n an' I, we were... a pair. He gave me something I never had before. Said I was somethin' he'd never had.

(...)
Travis: Aren't you more important? I don't mean you, selfishly, but isn't life lived more important? Aren't you missing the dance by waiting for the right song?

Trip: I don't regret...

Travis: Not regret - just living. I regret not hearing my father say what he thought of me, right to me. But I lived every second with my mom and brother when I visited them.
Trip: Ya lost me.

Travis: Do what you need to do to live, Commander. See what happens with your life, afterward.

(...)